Over the past 15 years, I worked in senior HR and people management roles across various UK-based companies, from SMEs to large-scale organisations in sectors including professional services, retail, and logistics. I’ve celebrated team wins, dealt with restructures, and worked closely with people at every level of the business. If there’s one thing I came to understand, it’s this: mental health in the workplace isn’t a luxury or a side conversation. It’s fundamental to a thriving, sustainable business—and more importantly, to human dignity.
It was this understanding—and the many difficult realities I witnessed—that eventually led me to step away from that world. I chose instead to focus on supporting others more directly, training as a life coach and therapist. What follows are lessons from the inside, insights that I hope will help others navigate the world of work with more awareness, compassion, and choice.
The Reality: Are Employees Really Expendable?
In some UK workplaces, there’s still a lingering belief that people are easily replaced. I’ve sat in meetings where senior staff have openly discussed colleagues as numbers, to the point where names aren’t even used anymore and terms such as ‘floor staff’, ‘service staff’, or ‘lumpers and pumpers’ are thrown around casually. The depersonalisation of individuals into functional labels is both troubling and indicative of a wider issue around how organisations view their workforce.
But this attitude isn’t just dehumanising—it’s shortsighted. Poor mental health in the workplace costs UK employers an estimated £51 billion annually, with nearly half of that due to presenteeism—where people show up physically but are mentally and emotionally drained (Deloitte, 2022).
When staff feel undervalued, morale suffers, engagement dips, and turnover rises. The cost and time involved in recruiting and onboarding new employees only compound the problem. Retaining talent through care and support is not just ethical—it’s a sound business strategy.
The Cost of Living and the Never-Ending Workday
In recent years, the pressure to earn has only increased. The rising cost of living in the UK—particularly rent, fuel, and food—has put immense stress on workers. According to the Mental Health Foundation, 31% of UK adults have experienced anxiety due to financial worries, and 27% have reported stress for the same reasons (Mental Health Foundation, 2023).
In many of the companies I worked with, I saw this first-hand: staff taking on overtime, forgoing annual leave, and even working weekends just to make ends meet. It’s unsustainable. Burnout becomes inevitable—not just tiredness, but complete emotional depletion. As employers, we must acknowledge these external pressures and respond with empathy and flexibility.
The Toxic Side of Competition and Comparison
A bit of healthy competition can drive performance. But when taken too far, it can breed resentment and insecurity. In some teams I led, I witnessed the damage that excessive competitiveness and workplace jealousy can cause—employees withholding information, being overly protective of their roles, or constantly comparing themselves to others.
In one company, an informal culture of ‘top performer’ recognition spiralled into a divisive atmosphere. Rather than pulling together, the team fractured into cliques. Collaboration fell apart. People began to second-guess one another, and mental health deteriorated.
Creating environments where people can celebrate each other’s success and trust one another with their ideas leads to healthier, more productive teams.
The Sacrifice Behind the Paycheque
On average, full-time UK workers spend around 37.5 hours per week at work—but for many, particularly those in people management roles, it’s far more. In one of my previous HR roles at a national retailer, I routinely worked 10-hour days and checked emails late into the evening. I convinced myself it was necessary for the sake of the team.
But the reality hit one evening during a conversation with my partner. I was explaining how stressed I felt, how exhausted and emotionally disconnected I’d become. They looked at me and asked, “Is any of this actually making you happy?” It stopped me in my tracks. I didn’t have an answer. That moment planted the seed for serious change.
Many of us sacrifice precious time with family and friends chasing targets and stability. The emotional toll of this imbalance is enormous and often overlooked.
Workplaces must begin to champion balance—not as a perk, but as a pillar of wellbeing.
Office Politics: When Integrity Is Tested
UK businesses are not immune to office politics. In my earlier career, I often tried to avoid it altogether. I focused on HR best practices, transparent communication, and people development. But as I moved into more senior roles, I quickly realised that politics could shape outcomes—regardless of merit.
At one point, I was involved in a recruitment process where it was subtly implied that a less-qualified candidate should be favoured due to their personal connections within the company. It left me in a moral bind. Ultimately, I stood my ground, but the pushback I received signalled clearly that my values were not aligned with the direction of the business.
Shortly after, I left that role—not in defeat, but with a sense of clarity. Walking away to preserve your integrity is difficult, especially when you’ve invested years into a company. But it’s also liberating. It was one of several moments that cemented my decision to transition from management into coaching and therapy, where I could support others in finding—and keeping—their voice.
When Victimhood Undermines Progress
While much of the conversation around mental health focuses on the people who are overwhelmed, burned out, or unsupported, there is another side that deserves attention. In every workplace, there can be individuals who, despite access to support systems—such as EAPs (Employee Assistance Programmes), counselling, and wellbeing initiatives—still approach their roles with the intention of doing the bare minimum.
In some cases, this comes from a place of long-standing dissatisfaction, but often it manifests as a kind of self-justified withdrawal. I’ve worked alongside people who constantly highlighted only the negative aspects of the organisation, using these as reasons not to contribute, not to engage, and not to improve. Rather than seeking help or taking steps to improve their own situation, they leaned into a narrative of victimhood. Over time, this attitude spreads and affects team morale. It creates cynicism, fractures trust, and places more strain on those who are trying to make things better.
Even more concerning is when this behaviour exists in management or decision-making roles. When someone in a position of authority mentally checks out or adopts a passive-aggressive stance, it influences others—either by fostering low standards or by demotivating those beneath them. It can erode cultures of accountability and reduce the effectiveness of even the most well-meaning wellbeing strategies. According to the CIPD, leadership that lacks emotional engagement with its staff is one of the leading causes of poor employee morale and decreased productivity (CIPD Good Work Index, 2023).
This isn’t about shaming people who are struggling—far from it. But it is about recognising the difference between struggling and disengaging to the point of creating dysfunction. As leaders, peers, or HR professionals, we need to address these patterns honestly and provide support, accountability, and opportunities for people to re-engage. And if the will to do that isn’t there, then sometimes it’s about making space for those who want to contribute to a positive, healthy workplace.
You Are Not Alone
Feeling disillusioned or unhappy at work is far more common than people admit. A Mental Health UK survey found that over a third of UK workers face high levels of stress at work, with one in five taking time off for mental health reasons (The Guardian, 2024).
We often believe we’re the only ones struggling, but in reality, many of our colleagues are navigating similar challenges. Opening up—even just a little—can be the start of meaningful change, both personally and professionally.
If you’re struggling and need someone to talk to, here are some useful resources:
- Mind: Mental health support and advice.
- Samaritans: Free, confidential listening 24/7.
- Mental Health UK: Support for managing mental health at home and in the workplace.
- NHS Mental Health Services: Access to therapy and crisis services.
What a Mentally Healthy Workplace Looks Like
A workplace that prioritises mental health isn’t just a “nice place to work”—it’s more productive, more resilient, and more successful. According to Deloitte, for every £1 invested in mental health initiatives, employers can expect an average return of £4.70 (Deloitte, 2022).
In my experience, the healthiest work environments share common traits:
- Psychological safety: People can voice concerns and be vulnerable without fear of reprisal.
- Genuine flexibility: Not just policies on paper, but a real understanding of life outside work.
- Visible support from leadership: When those in charge role model wellbeing, it sets a tone for the entire organisation.
- Mental health literacy: Training for managers on spotting signs of distress and signposting support.
What You Can Do—As an Individual and an Employer
If you’re an employee:
- Speak to someone—whether it’s a friend, a trusted manager, a therapist, or your GP.
- Don’t be afraid to set boundaries. That includes not checking emails after hours, taking your lunch break, and using your annual leave.
- Be honest with yourself about how you’re coping. If you feel disengaged or burnt out, reflect on what needs to change and who can support that change.
If you’re a manager or employer:
- Foster open conversations about wellbeing that go beyond the surface—make it safe for people to say, “I’m not okay.”
- Invest in wellbeing not as a box-ticking exercise but as a cultural pillar. Provide access to EAPs, flexible working, coaching, and mental health days.
- Regularly check in with your team—formally and informally—and ask what’s working and what’s not.
- Encourage and model rest, recovery, and self-care. When leaders do it, it gives permission to others.
- Take accountability when things go wrong. That builds trust and demonstrates emotional intelligence.
Reflections of Wisdom
Mental health isn’t a soft issue. It’s a business-critical issue—and a human one. Through my years in UK HR and management, I saw what happens when mental wellbeing is ignored, and I saw the transformative impact when it’s prioritised.
Those experiences shaped my path and ultimately led me to a new vocation: supporting others as they navigate change, overcome challenges, and rediscover their sense of purpose. Whether through coaching or therapy, I now work with people who want to build healthier lives—personally and professionally.
We owe it to ourselves, our colleagues, and our organisations to create workplaces where people feel safe, supported, and seen. Because when people thrive, companies do too.
If this resonated with you, please share. Someone in your network might need to hear they’re not alone.
With care,
ThriveAlly
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