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  • Adulting Is Hard—Here’s Why It’s Rough (and How to Take Control Anyway)

    Adulting is hard. There, I said it. As a young adult, you’re likely facing all kinds of pressures—societal expectations to “figure it out” and do it perfectly, mixed with a dash of self-doubt and confusion about how exactly you’re supposed to manage the chaos of life. The truth? No one really has it all together. And if you’re struggling, you’re not failing. You’re simply learning how to navigate this complex world in your own unique way.

    I get it. Transitioning into adulthood can feel overwhelming, but I want to share my journey with you. Growing up, I had the kind of lucky experience where things came together without a lot of struggle, but I know that’s not the case for everyone. For most, it’s a bumpy road filled with moments of self-questioning, where you wonder if everyone else has it together while you feel like you’re still figuring out the basics.

    As I got older, I started to ask myself: Why is adulting so hard? Is there a blueprint? And how do people just know what they’re doing? Through my own reflections, I realised that adulting is difficult for everyone—no matter how things might look from the outside. It’s a process of learning, unlearning, and constantly adapting to new challenges.

    The Shift from the 1980s to Now: How Parenting and Expectations Have Changed

    If you’re a millennial or Gen Z, chances are you’ve felt the weight of changing expectations as you’ve transitioned from childhood into adulthood. Parenting styles and societal norms have shifted drastically since the 1980s, and it’s no surprise that adulting now feels like an entirely different ballgame compared to a generation ago.

    In the 1980s, parenting was much more rigid. There was an emphasis on self-discipline, hard work, and accountability. Parents raised children to be resilient, responsible, and self-reliant. The idea was clear: work hard, get a steady job, make a good wage, and take care of yourself. There wasn’t room for excuses—just get on with it. And although this strict style of parenting wasn’t for everyone, it helped form a generation that understood the value of persistence and personal responsibility.

    By the 90s and early 2000s, the parenting dynamic began to shift. The rise of technology, changing job markets, and a more globalised society meant that expectations of success began to evolve. Parents became more supportive of their children’s emotional needs, but at the same time, there was a growing pressure to succeed and compete. No longer was just “working hard” enough—now, success was expected to come quickly and with flashy results.

    Fast forward to today, and the pressure to “have it all” seems more intense than ever. But what’s often forgotten is that success looks different for everyone, and the journey is rarely linear. The shift from past generations to now has created a new set of challenges—but also a unique set of opportunities for young adults to carve their own path.

    The Past: Resilience Through “Just Get On With It”

    Let’s talk about mental health for a moment. Growing up in the 80s and 90s, there was little awareness around mental health. The “just get on with it” attitude was in full force. You didn’t talk about mental health struggles. You powered through. On one hand, this approach created a generation of individuals who were strong and resilient. It helped shape a mindset that didn’t make excuses, and instead, focused on solutions and moving forward.

    For many of us, this mindset was beneficial—it built grit, perseverance, and an innate ability to keep pushing forward, no matter the circumstances. And while the lack of understanding around mental health at the time meant that some individuals struggled without the support they needed, the mindset of self-reliance and accountability was a cornerstone of success. You didn’t have the luxury of self-pity or the language to express your struggles, so you dealt with them head-on.

    Of course, this approach wasn’t universally beneficial, and mental health awareness has since become a critical part of our modern landscape. Today, we understand the importance of acknowledging and managing mental health. But it’s also worth noting that the “just get on with it” attitude had its own role in helping build mental toughness—a trait that’s still valuable today.

    Resources for Mental Health Support

    If you’re struggling with your mental health, it’s important to seek support. Here are some resources to help:

    • Mind UK: Offers resources and support for mental health in the UK. Visit: mind.org.uk
    • Samaritans: Provides confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair. Visit: samaritans.org
    • Mental Health Foundation: Offers support and information on how to deal with mental health struggles. Visit: mentalhealth.org.uk

    Adulting in the Modern Age: How to Succeed and Thrive

    Now, let’s talk about adulting in the present day. How do you succeed when the world feels like a never-ending maze of to-do lists, financial burdens, and pressure to keep up? The answer lies in taking the best lessons from the past and blending them with the tools and opportunities we have today.

    1. Financial Responsibility: A Foundation for Success

    In the 80s, financial responsibility was simple: get a job, save money, and live within your means. Fast forward to today, and financial literacy is more complex, but just as crucial. Navigating student loans, managing credit, and investing in your future can be daunting, but modern tools like budgeting apps (e.g., Mint, YNAB) and resources on personal finance can make this process a lot easier. The key is to stay proactive—start small, track your expenses, and save regularly.

    Here are some great resources to help build financial literacy:

    • MoneySavingExpert: Offers extensive guides on budgeting, managing money, and more. Visit: moneysavingexpert.com
    • The Money Advice Service: Provides free, impartial money advice. Visit: moneyadviceservice.org.uk
    • YNAB (You Need A Budget): A budgeting app that helps you plan and take control of your finances. Visit: ynab.com

    2. Emotional Intelligence: Understanding Yourself and Others

    The 80s and 90s didn’t exactly prioritise emotional intelligence. Conversations about feelings weren’t common, and mental health wasn’t part of mainstream discussions. Fast forward to today, and emotional intelligence (EQ) has become one of the most important skills you can develop. It’s not just about being aware of your emotions; it’s about understanding and managing them, as well as being attuned to the emotions of others. By practicing self-awareness, self-regulation, and empathy, you can strengthen your relationships and thrive in both your personal and professional life.

    Developing emotional intelligence involves:

    • Practicing mindfulness and self-reflection.
    • Cultivating empathy by truly listening to others.
    • Building better relationships by understanding and managing emotions.

    Resources to Build Emotional Intelligence

    • Daniel Goleman’s “Emotional Intelligence”: This book is a great resource for understanding and developing your EQ.
    • The Center for Creative Leadership: Offers various articles and resources on developing emotional intelligence. Visit: ccl.org

    3. Self-Reliance: Build Confidence, Take Responsibility

    Growing up in the 80s and 90s, self-reliance was a key value. Parents taught us the importance of doing things for ourselves and taking ownership of our actions. In the modern world, self-reliance still holds true, but with the added complexity of knowing when to seek help. Being able to solve problems independently is a great skill, but it’s equally important to recognise when it’s time to lean on others. Balance independence with a healthy awareness of when to ask for help, and always take ownership of your choices.

    4. Clear Communication: A Skill for Success

    Clear communication has always been important, but today, it’s more crucial than ever. In the 80s and 90s, we communicated face-to-face or over the phone. Now, with emails, texts, and social media, the way we communicate is more fragmented, making clarity even more important. Whether you’re navigating work emails, texting a friend, or speaking with a boss, being clear, concise, and intentional with your words is key to success in the modern age.

    5. Mental Fortitude: Embrace Failure and Keep Going

    Finally, mental fortitude is the glue that holds it all together. In the past, people were taught to keep going no matter the circumstances. That mindset is still relevant today. Failure isn’t the end of the road—it’s just a part of the journey. The key is resilience. Use your failures as lessons, not as reasons to give up. It’s about learning to push through adversity, adapt, and bounce back stronger each time.

    Reflections of Wisdom: Navigating the Journey of Adulting

    Adulting is hard. It’s not just about navigating the responsibilities of work, finances, and relationships—it’s about finding your place in a world that seems to constantly shift beneath your feet. The pressure to succeed, to have it all figured out by a certain age, and to keep up with everyone else can feel overwhelming. But the reality is, we all struggle. You are not alone in this journey, even if it feels like everyone else is moving ahead while you’re stuck trying to make sense of it all.

    As we look back on the decades—from the 80s and 90s to the 2000s and beyond—we see that each generation had its own version of adulting. The key lessons we learned from the past—the importance of hard work, emotional resilience, self-reliance, and clear communication—are still relevant today. These lessons may have been passed down to us by parents who expected us to “just get on with it,” but now we see that those teachings were meant to equip us with the strength to face life’s toughest challenges head-on.

    However, we’ve also seen how much has changed. Modern adulting brings with it new tools, new opportunities, and a more open dialogue about mental health, financial responsibility, and emotional intelligence. While these challenges may seem daunting, the future holds more opportunities for growth and success than ever before. With the right mindset, the lessons of the past can be integrated with the resources of today to set us up for a bright future.

    The advantage we have now—something the previous generations didn’t—lies in the tools we can access and the knowledge we can gather. The rise of digital resources, financial tools, and mental health awareness gives us the opportunity to take charge of our adult lives in ways that previous generations never could. But we must also be mindful not to forget the foundational principles that have always made us resilient: hard work, accountability, and self-reliance. The key is to blend the best of both worlds—taking the lessons of the past and merging them with the tools of today.

    So, how do you navigate the world of adulting in this modern age? First, don’t expect everything to fall into place immediately. Success doesn’t look the same for everyone. It’s okay to take your time, to find your own pace, and to allow yourself grace in the process. Focus on the essentials—understanding your finances, building strong emotional intelligence, developing resilience in the face of challenges, and never being afraid to ask for help when you need it.

    In the end, it’s not about perfection. It’s about progress. It’s about learning to trust yourself, using the lessons from the past to inform your choices, and embracing the opportunities the future brings. Success in adulting is not about never failing—it’s about getting back up each time, learning from your experiences, and growing stronger as a result.

    You’ve got this. You don’t need to have all the answers right now. Keep moving forward, keep learning, and keep trusting that every step you take is part of your unique journey.

    As your ThriveAlly, I’ll be right here, cheering you on and supporting you through every challenge and triumph along the way.

    Your ThriveAlly

    We’d love to hear your thoughts on this! Please leave your comments and thoughts below! Thank you and we look forward to your comments.

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    You can contact us anytime at thriveally@gmail.com — we’d love to hear from you.

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    We’d love to hear your thoughts on this! Please leave your comments and thoughts below! Thank you and we look forward to hearing from you!

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  • Reigniting the Fire Within: How to Find Motivation and Purpose in a Distracted World

    If there’s one theme that has echoed through many coaching sessions I’ve had over the years, it’s this: “I just don’t feel motivated anymore.” Whether whispered with guilt or spoken in frustration, this confession reveals a silent epidemic in our modern world. Motivation, once the spark behind our dreams and daily momentum, now flickers uncertainly in many lives.

    But this isn’t just a challenge my clients face — it’s one I’ve faced deeply myself.

    My Early Career: Engaged, Driven… and Then, Lost

    Before I became a coach and therapist, I worked in a string of roles that, at first, felt promising. I had chosen a career that offered growth, structure, and what seemed like purpose. I remember the buzz of the early days — learning new skills, working with driven teams, and climbing what I thought was my ideal ladder.

    But slowly, something shifted.

    The more I advanced, the more I began to feel like I was drifting away from myself. The work I once found engaging became transactional. The goals I achieved didn’t feel like victories anymore. And worst of all, I started to question whether any of it really mattered. That feeling was more than burnout. It was the realization that I had invested years into a career that no longer aligned with who I was becoming.

    That period taught me something powerful: motivation can exist without purpose, but it won’t last. I was functioning, performing — even excelling on the outside — while emotionally checking out on the inside. The betrayal I felt wasn’t just from the job, but from myself. I had ignored my inner compass for too long.

    That wake-up call sparked my transformation. I retrained, retooled, and reconnected with what truly drives me: helping others discover their own fire.

    Stories from the Front Lines of Coaching

    In my coaching sessions, I meet people from every walk of life, all wrestling with the same quiet struggle: the fading of drive, purpose, and self-belief. Their stories may differ, but the undercurrent is always familiar.

    There’s “Maya”, in her early twenties, fresh out of university, overwhelmed by choice and weighed down by the social media illusion that everyone else had it all figured out. Her days were punctuated by mindless scrolling and quiet panic, feeling like she was falling behind in a race she didn’t even want to be in. Through our work, she tapped into her interest in sustainable design — not the trend, but the deeper desire to create things that mattered — and is now pursuing a path that feels aligned with her values.

    Then there’s Ahmed. A first-generation university graduate working in finance, Ahmed seemed to have ticked all the boxes. Good income, respected job, family pride — on paper, he was living the dream. But it wasn’t his dream. It was the legacy of expectations — a life path built from the sacrifices and hopes of his parents. And while that sense of responsibility was real and honourable, it left him feeling trapped and disconnected from his own passions.

    “I feel like I’m living someone else’s story,” he told me — and that sentence carried the weight of generations.

    As we explored his authentic ambitions, a new vision emerged. Ahmed had a passion for helping young people from similar backgrounds navigate the financial world. He wasn’t against finance — he just needed it to mean something. Today, he runs financial literacy programmes in youth centres across the UK, delivering workshops on budgeting, ethical investing, and generational wealth. His work is in demand, fulfilling, and rooted in community impact — and finally, it’s his.

    Another client, Elena, a single mother in her thirties, came to me after being made redundant from her retail management role. She was exhausted, not just from work, but from the mental load of constantly holding everything together. She felt invisible — professionally and personally. We worked on rediscovering what brought her alive, and what space she could realistically carve for herself. Today, she’s retrained in education and works as a classroom assistant, a role that lets her balance family life with personal growth — and gives her the joy of seeing her efforts shape young lives.

    These stories aren’t about “fixing” people. They’re about helping people come home to themselves.

    The Modern Motivation Crisis

    Motivation isn’t just about energy or ambition. It’s the why behind everything we do. When that why becomes unclear, motivation slips away. And today’s world doesn’t make it easy to stay connected to our deeper reasons.

    Why It’s So Hard to Stay Motivated Today:

    • We’re always “on”: Constant connectivity leads to chronic distraction.
    • We compare constantly: Social media often shows us the highlight reels, not the real struggles, creating a false sense of failure.
    • We’re pressured to hustle: Productivity culture tells us to keep grinding, even when we’re exhausted.
    • We lose touch with ourselves: In the race to succeed, many of us forget to ask: Do I even want this?

    We see this reflected in popular stories — characters like Rue in Euphoria or Connell in Normal People portray internal battles with motivation, identity, and purpose. Or take the rise of quiet influencers like Jay Shetty or Mel Robbins, who talk openly about their struggles with procrastination, burnout, and the feeling of being lost even when “successful.”

    These voices show us that lack of motivation isn’t about laziness — it’s about disconnection. And reconnection is possible.

    What Lack of Motivation and Purpose Looks Like

    Lack of motivation and purpose doesn’t always announce itself loudly. More often, it creeps in quietly and begins to shape your everyday experience in subtle but powerful ways:

    • You wake up tired even after a full night’s sleep.
    • Small tasks feel overwhelming, even meaningless.
    • You procrastinate not out of laziness, but because the work feels disconnected from your values.
    • Your confidence slowly erodes because you’re not moving in any direction.
    • You feel disconnected in your relationships and unfulfilled in your achievements.

    Over time, this can spiral into chronic stress, anxiety, burnout, and a sense of numbness. You begin to question your worth, your direction, and even your identity. You may start to believe that you’re the problem — when in truth, you’re simply misaligned from your deeper purpose.

    But the opposite is also true.

    The Power of Motivation and Purpose When Aligned

    When motivation and purpose are aligned, life begins to move differently:

    • You act from a place of clarity rather than confusion.
    • Challenges become stepping stones, not roadblocks.
    • You feel more energized, more creative, and more fulfilled.
    • Decision-making becomes easier because your internal compass is working.
    • Your self-worth is no longer tied to external achievements — it’s grounded in knowing why you do what you do.

    This doesn’t mean life becomes perfect or struggle-free. It means that the effort you’re putting in is finally worth it to you.

    That is the kind of transformation that happens when you reconnect with your motivation and purpose. And that is exactly what we guide our clients toward at GrowthMindsetSolutions.

    How Other People’s Motivation — or Lack of It — Affects You

    Have you ever found yourself dreading a project because your team or co-workers just didn’t seem to care?

    Have you ever noticed how someone’s low energy can leave you feeling drained, even if they haven’t said a word?

    Have you ever started doubting your own goals simply because someone else rolled their eyes at them?

    Motivation is contagious. And so is the lack of it.

    When we’re surrounded by apathy or cynicism, it’s easy to internalize that mindset. We start to shrink our dreams, suppress our ideas, or adopt a “what’s the point?” attitude. But the reverse is also true.

    Being around someone who’s deeply engaged, curious, or inspired can light a fire under you. Think of that friend who finally launched their small business, or the co-worker who tackled a new qualification while working full-time. Their momentum makes you consider what’s possible in your own life.

    One of my clients, for instance, started taking his physical health seriously after his younger sister trained for a charity marathon. “Watching her get up every morning with that kind of focus… it made me think, ‘What excuse do I really have?’” Now he’s training for his first 10K and feels better than he has in years.

    Motivation doesn’t just change your life — it influences everyone around you.

    Motivation vs. Purpose vs. Mental Health

    It’s vital to understand that a lack of motivation doesn’t always mean you’re depressed or broken. Sometimes, it’s a signal — your inner compass trying to tell you something’s off.

    • Lack of motivation might mean you’re doing the wrong things or doing the right things for the wrong reasons.
    • Lack of purpose can lead to motivation struggles, even if your life looks “successful.”
    • Burnout often masks itself as apathy.
    • Anxiety can drain energy before you even begin.

    Recognizing the root cause is key. That’s where guided support can make all the difference.

    How GrowthMindsetSolutions Helps

    At GrowthMindsetSolutions, we believe motivation isn’t something you either have or don’t. It’s something that can be understood, cultivated, and sustained — with the right tools and support.

    Here’s how we help you reignite your fire:

    • 1:1 Coaching: Tailored guidance that helps uncover your values, clear mental clutter, and align goals with meaning.
    • Growth Roadmaps: Structured, achievable plans that focus on progress over perfection.
    • Mindset Mastery Tools: Techniques like habit stacking, identity-based goal setting, and emotional reframing to keep you moving.
    • Workshops & Community: Group programs where you connect with others, share experiences, and grow together.

    We don’t just work on “getting things done.” We help you reconnect with why those things matter to you in the first place.

    Every Area of Life is Touched by Motivation

    Motivation doesn’t just affect your career. It shapes your relationships, your health, your creativity, your confidence, and your overall joy. When you feel motivated:

    • You set boundaries that protect your peace.
    • You show up fully for the people you love.
    • You take care of your body because you want to feel alive, not because you feel guilty.
    • You stop postponing the life you actually want.

    But when motivation fades, everything dims. That’s why this work matters.

    You’re Not Alone, and You’re Not Broken

    If you’re feeling stuck, uninspired, or directionless, take this as a sign — not of weakness, but of your awareness. You know there’s more to life than this. That knowing is your first spark.

    I’ve lived through that fog. I’ve guided others through it. And I believe with the right mindset, tools, and support, anyone can break free from autopilot and build a life they actually want.

    You don’t need to figure it all out today. You just need to take one step.

    Let GrowthMindsetSolutions be your guide back to purpose, passion, and possibility.

    Book your free discovery session today at [YourWebsiteURL]

    Together, we grow.
    — ThriveAlly

    We’d love to hear your thoughts on this! Please leave your comments and thoughts below! Thank you and we look forward to hearing from you!

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