Adulting is hard. There, I said it. As a young adult, you’re likely facing all kinds of pressures—societal expectations to “figure it out” and do it perfectly, mixed with a dash of self-doubt and confusion about how exactly you’re supposed to manage the chaos of life. The truth? No one really has it all together. And if you’re struggling, you’re not failing. You’re simply learning how to navigate this complex world in your own unique way.
I get it. Transitioning into adulthood can feel overwhelming, but I want to share my journey with you. Growing up, I had the kind of lucky experience where things came together without a lot of struggle, but I know that’s not the case for everyone. For most, it’s a bumpy road filled with moments of self-questioning, where you wonder if everyone else has it together while you feel like you’re still figuring out the basics.
As I got older, I started to ask myself: Why is adulting so hard? Is there a blueprint? And how do people just know what they’re doing? Through my own reflections, I realised that adulting is difficult for everyone—no matter how things might look from the outside. It’s a process of learning, unlearning, and constantly adapting to new challenges.
The Shift from the 1980s to Now: How Parenting and Expectations Have Changed
If you’re a millennial or Gen Z, chances are you’ve felt the weight of changing expectations as you’ve transitioned from childhood into adulthood. Parenting styles and societal norms have shifted drastically since the 1980s, and it’s no surprise that adulting now feels like an entirely different ballgame compared to a generation ago.
In the 1980s, parenting was much more rigid. There was an emphasis on self-discipline, hard work, and accountability. Parents raised children to be resilient, responsible, and self-reliant. The idea was clear: work hard, get a steady job, make a good wage, and take care of yourself. There wasn’t room for excuses—just get on with it. And although this strict style of parenting wasn’t for everyone, it helped form a generation that understood the value of persistence and personal responsibility.
By the 90s and early 2000s, the parenting dynamic began to shift. The rise of technology, changing job markets, and a more globalised society meant that expectations of success began to evolve. Parents became more supportive of their children’s emotional needs, but at the same time, there was a growing pressure to succeed and compete. No longer was just “working hard” enough—now, success was expected to come quickly and with flashy results.
Fast forward to today, and the pressure to “have it all” seems more intense than ever. But what’s often forgotten is that success looks different for everyone, and the journey is rarely linear. The shift from past generations to now has created a new set of challenges—but also a unique set of opportunities for young adults to carve their own path.
The Past: Resilience Through “Just Get On With It”
Let’s talk about mental health for a moment. Growing up in the 80s and 90s, there was little awareness around mental health. The “just get on with it” attitude was in full force. You didn’t talk about mental health struggles. You powered through. On one hand, this approach created a generation of individuals who were strong and resilient. It helped shape a mindset that didn’t make excuses, and instead, focused on solutions and moving forward.
For many of us, this mindset was beneficial—it built grit, perseverance, and an innate ability to keep pushing forward, no matter the circumstances. And while the lack of understanding around mental health at the time meant that some individuals struggled without the support they needed, the mindset of self-reliance and accountability was a cornerstone of success. You didn’t have the luxury of self-pity or the language to express your struggles, so you dealt with them head-on.
Of course, this approach wasn’t universally beneficial, and mental health awareness has since become a critical part of our modern landscape. Today, we understand the importance of acknowledging and managing mental health. But it’s also worth noting that the “just get on with it” attitude had its own role in helping build mental toughness—a trait that’s still valuable today.
Resources for Mental Health Support
If you’re struggling with your mental health, it’s important to seek support. Here are some resources to help:
- Mind UK: Offers resources and support for mental health in the UK. Visit: mind.org.uk
- Samaritans: Provides confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair. Visit: samaritans.org
- Mental Health Foundation: Offers support and information on how to deal with mental health struggles. Visit: mentalhealth.org.uk
Adulting in the Modern Age: How to Succeed and Thrive
Now, let’s talk about adulting in the present day. How do you succeed when the world feels like a never-ending maze of to-do lists, financial burdens, and pressure to keep up? The answer lies in taking the best lessons from the past and blending them with the tools and opportunities we have today.
1. Financial Responsibility: A Foundation for Success
In the 80s, financial responsibility was simple: get a job, save money, and live within your means. Fast forward to today, and financial literacy is more complex, but just as crucial. Navigating student loans, managing credit, and investing in your future can be daunting, but modern tools like budgeting apps (e.g., Mint, YNAB) and resources on personal finance can make this process a lot easier. The key is to stay proactive—start small, track your expenses, and save regularly.
Here are some great resources to help build financial literacy:
- MoneySavingExpert: Offers extensive guides on budgeting, managing money, and more. Visit: moneysavingexpert.com
- The Money Advice Service: Provides free, impartial money advice. Visit: moneyadviceservice.org.uk
- YNAB (You Need A Budget): A budgeting app that helps you plan and take control of your finances. Visit: ynab.com
2. Emotional Intelligence: Understanding Yourself and Others
The 80s and 90s didn’t exactly prioritise emotional intelligence. Conversations about feelings weren’t common, and mental health wasn’t part of mainstream discussions. Fast forward to today, and emotional intelligence (EQ) has become one of the most important skills you can develop. It’s not just about being aware of your emotions; it’s about understanding and managing them, as well as being attuned to the emotions of others. By practicing self-awareness, self-regulation, and empathy, you can strengthen your relationships and thrive in both your personal and professional life.
Developing emotional intelligence involves:
- Practicing mindfulness and self-reflection.
- Cultivating empathy by truly listening to others.
- Building better relationships by understanding and managing emotions.
Resources to Build Emotional Intelligence
- Daniel Goleman’s “Emotional Intelligence”: This book is a great resource for understanding and developing your EQ.
- The Center for Creative Leadership: Offers various articles and resources on developing emotional intelligence. Visit: ccl.org
3. Self-Reliance: Build Confidence, Take Responsibility
Growing up in the 80s and 90s, self-reliance was a key value. Parents taught us the importance of doing things for ourselves and taking ownership of our actions. In the modern world, self-reliance still holds true, but with the added complexity of knowing when to seek help. Being able to solve problems independently is a great skill, but it’s equally important to recognise when it’s time to lean on others. Balance independence with a healthy awareness of when to ask for help, and always take ownership of your choices.
4. Clear Communication: A Skill for Success
Clear communication has always been important, but today, it’s more crucial than ever. In the 80s and 90s, we communicated face-to-face or over the phone. Now, with emails, texts, and social media, the way we communicate is more fragmented, making clarity even more important. Whether you’re navigating work emails, texting a friend, or speaking with a boss, being clear, concise, and intentional with your words is key to success in the modern age.
5. Mental Fortitude: Embrace Failure and Keep Going
Finally, mental fortitude is the glue that holds it all together. In the past, people were taught to keep going no matter the circumstances. That mindset is still relevant today. Failure isn’t the end of the road—it’s just a part of the journey. The key is resilience. Use your failures as lessons, not as reasons to give up. It’s about learning to push through adversity, adapt, and bounce back stronger each time.
Reflections of Wisdom: Navigating the Journey of Adulting
Adulting is hard. It’s not just about navigating the responsibilities of work, finances, and relationships—it’s about finding your place in a world that seems to constantly shift beneath your feet. The pressure to succeed, to have it all figured out by a certain age, and to keep up with everyone else can feel overwhelming. But the reality is, we all struggle. You are not alone in this journey, even if it feels like everyone else is moving ahead while you’re stuck trying to make sense of it all.
As we look back on the decades—from the 80s and 90s to the 2000s and beyond—we see that each generation had its own version of adulting. The key lessons we learned from the past—the importance of hard work, emotional resilience, self-reliance, and clear communication—are still relevant today. These lessons may have been passed down to us by parents who expected us to “just get on with it,” but now we see that those teachings were meant to equip us with the strength to face life’s toughest challenges head-on.
However, we’ve also seen how much has changed. Modern adulting brings with it new tools, new opportunities, and a more open dialogue about mental health, financial responsibility, and emotional intelligence. While these challenges may seem daunting, the future holds more opportunities for growth and success than ever before. With the right mindset, the lessons of the past can be integrated with the resources of today to set us up for a bright future.
The advantage we have now—something the previous generations didn’t—lies in the tools we can access and the knowledge we can gather. The rise of digital resources, financial tools, and mental health awareness gives us the opportunity to take charge of our adult lives in ways that previous generations never could. But we must also be mindful not to forget the foundational principles that have always made us resilient: hard work, accountability, and self-reliance. The key is to blend the best of both worlds—taking the lessons of the past and merging them with the tools of today.
So, how do you navigate the world of adulting in this modern age? First, don’t expect everything to fall into place immediately. Success doesn’t look the same for everyone. It’s okay to take your time, to find your own pace, and to allow yourself grace in the process. Focus on the essentials—understanding your finances, building strong emotional intelligence, developing resilience in the face of challenges, and never being afraid to ask for help when you need it.
In the end, it’s not about perfection. It’s about progress. It’s about learning to trust yourself, using the lessons from the past to inform your choices, and embracing the opportunities the future brings. Success in adulting is not about never failing—it’s about getting back up each time, learning from your experiences, and growing stronger as a result.
You’ve got this. You don’t need to have all the answers right now. Keep moving forward, keep learning, and keep trusting that every step you take is part of your unique journey.
As your ThriveAlly, I’ll be right here, cheering you on and supporting you through every challenge and triumph along the way.
Your ThriveAlly
We’d love to hear your thoughts on this! Please leave your comments and thoughts below! Thank you and we look forward to your comments.
We’re always happy to welcome new clients. If this post resonated with you and you feel this might be the support you’ve been looking for, don’t hesitate to reach out. We offer a free 30-minute discovery call to explore your needs, answer any questions, and see if we’re a good fit to work together. Book using the booking link button at the top of this page or click on the “Bookings” link for more details and booking link!
You can contact us anytime at thriveally@gmail.com — we’d love to hear from you.
Leave a Reply